1. If I’m your tumblr crush, send me $50.

    (Source: brownnipplebraggadocio, via meowrials)

  2. See what your followers think of you.

    iswimitslife:

    BLACK = I would date you.
    GREEN = I think you’re cute.
    BLUE = You are my tumblr crush.
    GREY = I wish you would notice me.
    PURPLE = I don’t talk to you but I really love your blog.
    TEAL = We have a lot in common.
    YELLOW = I don’t know you at all.
    ORANGE = I don’t like your blog.
    BROWN = I don’t like you.
    PINK = I think you are unattractive.
    RED = I hate you with a burning passion.
    WHITE = You scare me.
    RAINBOW = BED PLZ.

    (Source: omgreblog, via time-lord-ramnikul)

  3. acrumblebatchwithcustardfreeman:

    I bought this thing in Chicago. This thing from Chicago is the most stereotypically American thing I’ve ever encountered. It’s just missing a flag and an eagle and a gun. LIQUID WATER ENHANCER. Like, even my phone doesn’t trust it, it autocorrected ‘enhancer’ to ENDANGERMENT. It’s like my phone knew. It says to add a half a tea spoon, and bruh, bruh, YOU DONT EVEN. It looks like soya sauce and smells like a diabetic chihuahua. It recommends 2ml per 240ml,and seriously, I put about half that in the same amount and l was transported to a sugar processing factory that created a HulkSmash fist out of sugar cubes and punched me in the face.

    Time slowed down. I could hear myself talking and I knew it was too fast. The person on the phone told me to slow down like 4 times. I thought I was. I was shaking. I got a headache. I went into a meeting for an hour and time folded in half and expanded exponentially. Was I born in that meeting room? Was I dying while talking about business expectations? I couldn’t let on. I flicked my pen back and forth for nine centuries, nine centuries with blinking only twice.

    The sugar crash… I am aware of my nose. Like, I can see every pore in my own nose as I look at the computer screen. I should wear wire glasses, suspenders and a knotted kerchief because my brain hurts.

    What do you mean the sugar is the 7th ingredient in that death juice??? How?!

    Guys, I think I died.

    (via canadian-cutie)

    boy48:

    My new mantra in life

    (via canadian-cutie)

    thranduilings:

    frxdo:

    idc if it’s true or not this headline is all that matters to me. x

    (via canadian-cutie)

  4. squidpixie:

    legalmexican:

    FLAN

    Florida is its own cause of death

    (Source: twitter.com, via candycorncob)

    ofhousehoechlin:

    6 year old fan asks Sebastian a question.

    #well good thing you’re the Winter Soldier   #because that’s one hell of a burn (via paradisdesbilles)

    (Source: missmarvelmoved, via canadian-cutie)

  5. back-that-sass-up:

    spyduck:

    rupindah:

    i’m all for boys wearing makeup mostly because if more of them got into it there’d be a bigger market and it wouldn’t cost $25 for an eyeshadow primer anymore

    i can’t wait to go into the makeup aisle to get the latest man-color of guyshadow that comes in containers shaped like bullets and footballs

    "Bruh I just went to sephora and got the sickest shade of eyeshadow"
    "Sick dude what’s it called"
    "Monster truck gas fumes"
    "Niiiiiiiice"

    (via canadian-cutie)

  6. towongfoo:

    If I dont respond to your insult it means what i wanted to say was too mean and I decided to let you live

    (Source: menthuthuyoupi, via perks-of-being-chinese)

    moist-but-ready:

    eatpussylivehappy:

    bebereaves:

    sh4ne:

    euro-trotter:

    neofriend:

    edwad:

    this is so fucked up

    For the love of god

    I’ve smoked only about 4 ciggs in my life and this already makin me wanna stop

    It looks like someone is blowing air into a rotting plum

    Erin….

    this
    this needs to be seen by everyone

    Scary thing is it only takes about a year for the effect seen on the left to start, and once it starts it doesn’t go back! Never smoke guys.

    (Source: dieselotherapy, via perks-of-being-chinese)

  7. video games don’t make us violent, lag does

    (Source: dimwited, via perks-of-being-chinese)

  8. "you dying bruh"

    webMD’s answer for everything (via whitegirlsaintshit)

    (Source: qumayo, via perks-of-being-chinese)

  9. pebbles5ever:

    hypno-angex:

    suklaaaa:

    bunnyinafez:

    iwantfitbody:

    madamedepompador:

    winchesterwolves:

    moniker-padacklyte:

    zillystring:

    wasereborworthit:

    mellowminty:

    pizzaforpresident:

    petition to rename the usa ‘south canada’

    what about alaska

    are we then normal canada

    canada a bit to the left

    image


    What about South America? Is that just America? Or South South Canada?

    image

    image

    i cried my ass of laughing

    image

    WARM CANADA

    i caN’T BREATHE OH MY GOD

    I’m not even from Canada but I approve this change of names

    image

    (via perks-of-being-chinese)